Treatment for Codependency

As a codependent, you are often an overachiever, a perfectionist, the person who goes above and beyond yet never thinks that you do enough. Your over achieving often masks the underachieving or dysfunction of those around you (at home or work) and you become the one always trying to fix the problems that you didn’t create. 

As a codependent others count on you more than you count on them, relationships feel like a one way street. You feel responsible for everything and everyone, and when you are legitimately struggling you don’t want to admit it. You are used to your needs and feelings being of little concern to others. You are so capable and strong, you think you can fix every problem. You say you’ll wait until this “next thing” happens and then everything will be ok. The problem is that “next thing” never happens and you are working and striving to fix something that can never be fixed and never gets better. 

This cycle is exhausting. And let’s be honest it’s embarrassing to admit it to others, because you are so smart and capable, right? You may not know this but this experience is all too common with so many strong and well intended people. 

I believe therapy can be an opportunity to look at codependency from a deeper understanding. To learn how to set aside your shame, guilt, and embarrassment, and look at how the behavior started, how you feel it’s served you (even when it hasn’t), and why it’s so hard and scary to try something new. You may feel stuck or scared but the reality is our freedom and power is on the other side of this fear. 

I have extensive experience in my professional and personal life with codependency and it is so common particularly with women, and yet from my perspective not talked about enough. I see so many people’s lives negatively affected by codependency because they believe that is the only way they can be and to change would be impossible. However, with education, support, guidance and a plan you have the opportunity to change your life and know what it’s like to be free.